lol check this out.

K guys... lol face slapper and I were bored...
see if u guys can tell what we r ranting about and stuff
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Greetings Epic Duel!

I am Dr. Demond with my colleague, Dr. Face Slapper, and we are here to spread the news of something very few people know about. Something so important, that the EDIA (Epic Duel Intelligence Agency) has kept it hidden from you for over a year. The...APOCALYPSE!!!! No, not really... but maybe something like it. Mwahahaha read on to find out.

Terms and Conditions: HAHA we have none. I thought it would look fancy if I put it in. well.. actually I have one... after reading this you must agree to give me 1k varium. BWAHAHA-JK! (jk means just kidding-for those of you who still haven't adapted to texting language)

Disclaimer: You must not take this seriously, because I don't want this to be a flame war. Most of this is sarcasm, part of this is facts, and a tiny bit of this is a rant. If you cannot handle sarcasm, the truth, or crazy psycho people then I advise you not to read below the line or it may damage your brain.
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Day in and day out Dr. Face and I have spent months unraveling the secrets of this catastrophe, because it has been the cause for the main source of various complaints over the past year. Over this time, we have conducted thousands and thousands and EVEN more thousands of experiments for ONE single purpose: to confirm the discovery of what we call "the NOOB VIRUS." DUN DUN DUN. Now, this isn't your regular common cold sort of thing, where you can just stay at home hoping it gets better... NO!!! This is bad...it's an EPICdemic. If we don't act fast... well, let's just say... it will be the END OF THE GAMEEEEEE.
Caution: Noob virus is a deadly disease, currently only known to be active in Epic Duel.


Some of you are wondering what is this... Epicdemic? And what can it do? Some of you are lost.
AND Others are still thinking about my horribly intended pun!

Well, no worries! I can only solve the first problem! Woo...

Lets start out with the root of Epicdemic: ADS! Oh those horrible yet, wonderful ads. They bring all sorts of players into this game: laggers, hackers, slackers, crackers...you name it! But most importantly, they ALWAYS bring noobs. Noobs are referred to as new players, for those of you who don't know yet, and most of them love 2v2s, where they could just rack up some wins without much work. Most of the times, they let their partners do all the work, while all they have to do is die. In alpha, this was a small issue, as there were not many noobs, but now, Epic Duel has gotten much more popular. So much, that Dr. Slap and I began to notice a dramatic rise in noobs. Unfortunately, this is where the noob virus creates quite a problem. This virus targets unaware random noobs, ranging from all sorts of ages, but mostly the young, ripe ones (This makes sense because if noobs were like a piece of fruit, I would definitely choose the young fresh fruit over the old rotten fruit. No offense intended to all those "old" people).



WHAT HAPPENS?
So, when the virus comes in contact with you, it stays in your brain, waiting and watching for the right moment to strike! And then, each time you enter a 2v2 battle, the virus takes action. It slowly devours your COMMON SENSE, and causes your brain to go haywire, resulting in not so smart decision making during battles. It is very tragic, and unfortunately, almost ALL of Epic Duel has caught this.

BUT!
Fortunately, there is a minority of players who are immune to this virus. Overtime, as one plays enough, he/she becomes immune to the virus. We have decided to call them Speshuls. For the majority of players that have the virus, we shall call them Infecteds. Now, for some unexplainable reason (must do more research), Infecteds are attracted to Speshuls. When these two come in contact, all hell breaks loose, and 2v2 becomes a catastrophe. Due to the effects of the noob virus, Infecteds anger Speshuls easily. Now why is this? SIMPLE! Due to the Infecteds' loss of common sense, they randomly attack their opponents, without any thought, or strategy. In severe cases, Infecteds have completely lost it, and won't even listen to any reason. Our most recent and worst case, an Infected lost himself and decided to suicide.

Pictures:
Coming soon.

As you can see, this Epicdemic, is becoming quite a problem.
So, how do we stop it?

Demond: Stop the advertising, DUH.
Face Slapper: Dr. Demond, that is stupid.
Demond: No way. It makes sense. Look here.. No ads ---> no noobs ---> no noob virus ---> stop of the epicdemic. Dang I'm so smart sometimes!
Face Slapper: *shakes head* *cough* idiot *cough*
Demond: What'd ya say?
Face Slapper: OK guys, don't listen to my Dr. Demond here, because he is high.
Stopping the "noob virus" is actually very simple, here are a few options that have already been suggested:
-2v2 battles shouldn't have a 5 level gap. It should be reduced to ensure fairness. Or make sure that there is not a huge difference of power between a level 32 and a level 27.
-To prevent "Infecteds" we can provide a manual explaining brief details of the game right after they create their account. Kind of like a mini tutorial.
-2v2 pre-determined pair-ups. (to ensure fairness, this has 1 level gap, so a 32 and a 32 do not run into a 27 and a 27)
Demond: That was...almost better than my idea.

Weirdos

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lmao thx...

Yw. Hows ur foot?

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lol turns out i did more than just simply sprain my ankle. I tore 4 ligaments and broke part of my bone. So no i have to wear a cast 4 3 weeks and after have therapy for 4 weeks

Aww and ur bdays coming

lol yeah. my real bday :O
lmao it was so funny i posted my fake bday on fb and every1s like..happy b day!

anyway r u officially over ED? :[

No I'm grounded

still?! O_O

u missed 2 updates :[

Nu uh go to my house lol

lol ok@

lmao 1 plant and 1 chair. wonderful dark..wonderful xD

Itold ya I was broke lmao.

rofl XD
i have 1 lamp and 1 chair! WOO

*jealous * hey I'm finally ungrounded I'll come on tomm. Miss meh gf lol

lol i thought u were hanging w/ ur gf this whole time
and gl!

rofl i posted it on the ED forums XD. U shuld check it out and reply lol. help me keep it alive .
Just search "Epicdemic" and ull immediately see it XD